Confessions of A Style Challenged Mom

Seriously? I’m sitting here looking at a blank page trying to coax some form of a cogent idea from the dark recesses of my brain. Crickets. Ok. Brain meet Pinterest. Pinterest has tons of ideas. Let’s look up blog ideas. Yeah, that’s smart. So, today is June 10th and this says I should blog about what I wore today. Ummmmm. Can I get a mulligan? What I wore? Damn.
As your standard operating stay at home mom trying to strike it famous in the blog scene I can tell you my wardrobe sucks monkey toes. I will totally be happy when garanimals makes adult clothes. I’ve never been a stylish, fashion savvy chick to start with. In high school, I wore mom jeans. Yeah, totally high waisted, light wash, oh my god no wonder I couldn’t get a date mom jeans. I think that was really the secret plot of my parents because we all know my personality wasn’t enough to scare them off.

True story. If you’re around my age, you’ll remember the boxer short trend. Everyone was wearing boxer shorts. Being the outsider trying to fit in I found the cutest pair of Mickey mouse boxers and a shirt to go with it. Now, I’m not sure if I was just invisible, so no one noticed or if everyone did notice and no one said anything to me, either being nice or talking behind my back, whatever. See, what I didn’t know was they were wearing boxers under their pants and showing off the waistbands. Not being weird and awkward and showing up to school wearing a pajama set. I was such a winner in high school. Ben Vinci, you missed out, pal.

As time progressed, I really didn’t get any better dressing myself. I’m keenly aware there are 3 year olds with better fashion sense than me. In college, I owned a ridiculous amount of flannel shirts, mud covered boots, and a replica Indiana Jones hat. Ooh baby. Look out frat boys here comes your weird little sister who keeps breaking into your room and stealing your clothes. Still dateless at this point.

Now here’s where life takes an interesting turn. Guess who winds up being a model/actress? Yeah, totally. Extras work mainly, but hey, I get to say I was a model and actress. And yet still completely clueless on how to do my hair, makeup, and dress myself. My brother was doing drag shows at the time. Let me tell you, it is a better learning experience than any classroom when you have drag queens teaching you how to do makeup and hair. Do you see why I still have problems.

In my working adult life I’ve tried to dress to my environment. Child care – jeans and t shirts. Massage therapist – scrubs. Credit card customer service – skirts and blouses. Being a stay at home mom seems to have its own style as well. Right now I’m sporting a green shirt and khaki Capris. No shoes. No socks. Teeth brushed. Hair, well it is what it is. I even put deodorant on. Currently I have nothing spilled on me, but the day is young.
I know there’s some conjecture on the topic of leggings as pants. I will say I love my leggings and you can have them when you pry them from my cold, dead butt. I do momify them in that I wear a long tunic type shirt to cover my butt. By all means if you want to look, go ahead, but I don’t carry eye bleach so ogle at your own risk.

If you haven’t been sucked into the singularity that is interested then stay away. Save yourself. If you’re like me then you already know there are so many fashion pins and ideas. I’m a huge fan of the wardrobe capsule idea. It basically says that you can have 10 pieces of clothing and make 50 different outfits. That means less laundry to wash, dry, fold and put away. I’m in. Although I do love my new folding board. Sheldon is a genius and I am so grateful for this thing. Check out different boards and see what works for you. Here are a few links to give you ideas. http://boulevardhouse.com/2015/06/starter-capsule.HTML http://capsules.cladwell.com/?pp=0 http://www.puttingmetogether.com/2015/07/summer-vacation-packing-list-capsule-10-pieces.html?m=1

This turned out better than I anticipated. As always, you’re worth it, I’m proud of you, I’m grateful for you, and I love you. Now go out there and be stylish humans.

Oy, white girl fro.

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