Kids Are Funny

I was able to witness some humorous moments. Which was helpful because today was very stressful and we all needed some comic relief.

We ran out of fruit at breakfast. My kids wound up getting pancakes and carrots. You read that right. Carrots. With Italian dressing. For breakfast. Now, as an adult, you might say something like, “What the actual hell is this?” It’s ok. I did. Not verbally but yeah, I thought it. But the kids didn’t even give it a thought. One actually said, “Ooh salad! We never have salad for breakfast. Mom won’t let me have salad for breakfast. I’ve always wanted salad for breakfast. This is the best day ever.” This is the same kid who cried because mom brought the wrong doll from the car, but, hey, whatever floats your boat. And can we take a moment to appreciate that carrots constitutes a salad to this kid. Like, yay, easy to impress. Unless you bring the wrong doll. Then you shall ride the handbasket to Hades in the express lane.

We got to go outside today. This hasn’t been a regular occurrence with the biblical amount of rain we’ve gotten over the last three weeks. One of my kiddos brought me a leaf. He was very concerned for the bee on the leaf. It was moving and he thought it was asleep. It was my job to wake up the bee. The problem was it wasn’t a bee. It was a wasp. I quickly took the leaf and wasp and tossed both over the fence. This caused my little friend much grief. Why? How was he going to get honey for his Cheerios? Because plain Cheerios are gross and he only likes them with honey. But now, I threw out the sleeping bee and it won’t make honey for his Cheerios. Miss Jen (that’s me) was mean and doesn’t care that he will have to eat Cheerios with no honey forever. That bee was made for him. That bee was sent here just for him. That bee’s sole purpose in its little insect life was to make honey just for this child’s Cheerios. But I had to go and throw that bee away. Along with that bee (remember, not a bee. It’s a wasp) I threw that child’s honeyed Cheerios dreams right over that fence.

Don’t you wish adult problems were like this? Seriously. I woke up to a paycheck that was two hundred dollars less than it should have been. I found out my W4 had me listed as single. With no allowances or dependents. Like, no. How about no?! Try I’m the only one working with a husband in school and three kids. One goes to the daycare I work at. And I still need to pay tuition for him. I’d like to have Cheerios with no honey on them as my main source of stress in life.

The best funny part came this afternoon. One of our dads came in and his son ran straight to him and proclaimed, “I didn’t push anyone today!” He was so proud of himself. Dad was confused. I was confused because this kid never really pushes or hits or has a problem and yet, here he was letting everyone know he didn’t recreate Sean Penn and the paparazzi. Dad’s response: “Good for you.” That’s right. You know it’s a good day when you don’t bite, fight, punch, kick, lick, spit, or push someone.

I can honestly say I can’t remember the last time I had to qualify the quality of my day by my behavior. Although, there are definitely moments where I have wanted to bite or push someone. I think we all have that. But those behaviors are typically frowned upon in adult society. Some, will get you featured on an episode of, “COPS.”