The Glorious Train Wreck Mom

This is a safe space for all train wrecks. Except here, we don't give you a puppy and a latte. We give you sarcasm and humor.

I quit my job. But this isn’t going to be your typical put the boss and company on blast type of post.

what did i read

You read that right.

I quit my job. OK. That’s not accurate. I walked out. Collected my things. Collected my son’s things from his preschool room. Hugged friends and said good bye. I clocked out and told my boss I couldn’t do it anymore. Then, I walked out to my husband who was waiting for me in the parking lot.Yeah. This isn’t going to be one of those “put the boss/company on blast” posts. I’m not about that life. What this is about is your own self value and respect.

What was I thinking?

A year ago, it wasn’t an option; I had to go to work. My husband started school and was unable to work. He’s still in school but now he’s got several skills that would allow at least a part time job. And now with me being home we don’t have to worry about more gas or daycare expenses. Bonus nachos. ​

bonus nachos

Perception is Reality

The problem I had was a feeling in me. I felt disrespected a lot. Notice how that was said. I felt. Not I was. Perception is the key. I know the other party doesn’t feel the same way. And that’s OK. That is her perception of the situation. But I have to live my life in my body, thinking my thoughts, and feeling my emotions. I felt disrespected. I’m also not a fan of rules for the sake of rules or Cover Your Ass (CYA) as a policy. I worked for a corporate run child care facility. Don’t you dare call it a daycare. You will be corrected. They prefer the term school. So, as with most corporate run operations, if something happens in one center, the rest feel the effects. I was OK with the cameras. I know several friends who would have been saved jobs and money had cameras been in place at their jobs. And, paperwork is an inevitability in any job. My husband is going to school for IT and he still has a stupid amount of paperwork to do. But, when one government organization tells you the paperwork has to be done like ABC and then another agency tells you the paperwork says you do it XYZ but someone else tells you to do it 123, it gets confusing. And then you get told you’re not doing your job right.

I’m damn good at my job.

I think that’s the meat of it right there. Brace yourself, this is going to sound pretty braggy. I’m damn good at being a preschool teacher. Yes, I’m sometimes a little harsh. Sometimes, the filter on my brain backs up and I say the things that are in my head out loud. But in the end, I’m damn good at being a preschool teacher. Hell, I got hired at one of the country’s most prestigious facilities. That’s no easy feat. There were tests and essays. Algorithms and computers check your answers; not people. And I was chosen. I think that place needed me as much as I needed it. That room was a hot mess. That’s no joke. Anyone that was there at the time would tell you, that room was the proving ground. I was having panic attacks every day. I cried going in every day. But, I made it through and we got a new class of kids.

Not just a preschool teacher

stress

But something didn’t feel right. I’ll take responsibility for that. I have this blog. My books that I’m writing and editing. I’m starting a merchandise store. I have a podcast. I have a YouTube channel ​.
On top of that, I have a 14 year old I’ve been homeschooling due to anxiety and depression. She used to have therapy once a week; we’re down to every other week now. I have my own 4 year old son, so coming home to a fournado after dealing with twenty of them was kind of rough some days. Most days. OK, all the time. My 13 year old stepdaughter moved in with us and we haven’t always had the best relationship. We’re working on it. So, mix all that together. Bake at 350 for an hour. Pull it out and that’s my life cake. Ice that with a 9-5 Monday to Friday and that’s all sorts of trouble just waiting to happen.

Gee, why is Jen’s cortisol level so high? I can’t imagine.

So, here I am now.

I don’t have a plan. I don’t have a job. I don’t have a clue. But, I also don’t have any regrets. OK, that’s not accurate either. I regret leaving the good people behind in the fashion I left. I can only hope we really will stay connected. ​
Until I find something else, I will focus on my writing. My first fiction book, “Mr. Christmas,” is being released May 1st. I’m going to focus on this blog a lot more. My YouTube channel will still have videos uploaded every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I will continue to add products to my merchandise store.All in all, I feel good about this decision. In fact, I feel confident that I’m moving in the direction of my dreams. My end goal is to make money with my writing. So, here’s to the future.

All aboard, train wreck.

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