An Open Letter To You

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Hey howdy hey. How are you today?

No. Seriously. How are you today? It’s OK to be honest with your answer here. Remember, this is a safe space.

Too often, when we’re asked, “How are you?” we say, “Fine. OK. Can’t complain.” But you’re not fine. You’re not OK. But you don’t want to be seen as a complainer. In your world, things are not OK. Things are not fine. And that’s OK. You have the right to not be OK.

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See, we are living in weird times. Everyone is divided. Everyone is on polar opposite ends of everything. Everyone is extreme. There is no middle. There is no meeting point. There is no fine or OK. Everything is awesome or terrible. We are living in an all or nothing world. And it’s starting to take its toll. Do you have exact change?

The toll of living in absolutes is guilt. There’s this burden some of us carry that we don’t feel right shirking off onto others. So, when you ask us how we’re doing, we won’t say how badly we slept, or how our bodies hurt, or how hard it was to get out of bed. We say, “I’m OK.”

But, you’re not, are you? You’re not OK. You’re managing. You’re struggling. You’re fighting. And some days you feel like giving up.

That’s OK. You’re doing the best you can. And don’t listen to Facebook Felicia and her nonsensical advice. Just because it worked for her brother’s best friend’s mother doesn’t mean it will work for you. And you are not a failure. Just because Nosy Nancy had a case of the blues and still cleaned her house and cooked dinner for her family doesn’t mean that’s the standard you need to set for yourself.

We all have days that are better than others. We all have days that are worse. Not every day is going to be sunshine, roses, kittens, and glitter. And that’s OK. Because you’re trying. You haven’t given up. You haven’t let the darkness win. You keep listening to that small voice inside you that keeps cheering you on.

And if you don’t hear that voice anymore, let me be that for you. If you woke up and got out of bed, got showered, got dressed, ate breakfast – I’m proud of you. Keep going. You got this.

If you were only able to wake up and get a shower, congratulations. You got up and you did the best you could. Maybe in five minutes, you’ll be able to get something to eat.

If you stayed in bed all day, that’s OK. You’re taking care of yourself. Maybe later, you’ll be able to walk to the living room. Maybe you’ll feel like eating. Just take it five minutes at a time. And don’t forget to keep breathing.

Where ever you are in your well being, I am proud of you. You are working, fighting, struggling, succeeding, laughing, crying. But you are also LIVING. It’s OK to not be OK. It’s OK to be OK. Either way. I’m proud of you. and if no one has told you today, I LOVE YOU.


The Glorious Train Wreck Mom


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