If your friends don’t make you happy, you need new friends. It’s that simple. And, it’s not.
Cutting people out of your life is never easy. But, the easy things are usually not the necessary things. And self preservation is absolutely a necessary thing.
So is having a support team. You have to have people who get you. They don’t have to agree with you one hundred percent on everything. That’s OK. But they do need to understand and support you. If your people aren’t cheering you on then get new people. That’s not to say you should surround yourself with sycophants and yes men. You need people are not afraid to stand up to you when you make dumb choices. We all make dumb choices. Good friends will tell you the jeans look good. Real friends will tell you the jeans make you look like your mom.
Friends are the family we choose for ourselves. That’s not to say there’s anything wrong with the family you have. It just helps knowing you have options out there. Having friends gives us the power to add to our circle or support and love.
If you know me personally, you probably have heard me talk about my brother and sisters. I am an only child. My parents chose to have one and only one child. Where I am grateful for the childhood I had, it was lonely. The people I have chosen as my brother and sisters already had siblings. I truly feel honored to be considered a sister. The original batch of friends was me, Yoda, and Banana. After my first year of college we added Squirrel Boy to the family. Shortly after, Hatfield joined the mix.
Yoda and I have known each other for over thirty years. Thirty. Years. We have been through some shit together. Boyfriends. Girlfriends. Sickness. Moving. Marriage. Pregnancies. Deaths.
I love all my friends. I do. But when you literally have known each other from the time you started school, well that’s history nothing else can compare to. There are things we will take to our graves before we tell anyone. I can see it now. St. Peter at the pearly gates asking us what the deepest darkest secret is. Both of us are going to be riding side by side in those baskets headed to Hades. There’s no one else I’d rather be with. At least I know I’ll be in good company. And with me and Yoda there, I’m pretty sure we’d be on the express train to reincarnation. I’m hoping to be a house cat my next go round.
The only other person I’d ride to the Underworld with is my husband. I know it’s been said time and again but in my case it’s true. My husband is my best friend. He is my love, my life, my heart, and my soul. He has all the best parts of me. And accepts the worst parts.
This guy. If dealing with a crazy chick were an Olympic sport, the King would have more medals than Michael Phelps.
Patience and grace are his chosen ways with me. And yet, he’s the one to tell me I’m overreacting. He’s the only one who has told me I couldn’t sell a kidney to buy a sloth preserve. He’s the only one who told me I couldn’t take a loan out to buy a corgi. And you may be thinking he’s being a killjoy. You may be right. But he’s also the reason I still have two kidneys, no sloths, heat in my house, and no corgi. Heat is important. Especially when it’s not even Thanksgiving yet and the weatherman is talking about snow. Heat is good.
Like a good friend, my husband loves and accepts me for all my weirdness. My fascination with sloths and corgis. My tendency to write about our family. My bouts of crying over Disney specials. He smiles, nods, and hugs me when things don’t work out so well. He lets me know if I’m over stretching myself. He tells me know when my obsessions threaten to use bill money. And he encourages me to chase dreams.
He’s my friend. And he makes me happy. There is nothing like coming home from a day at work at getting a hug from him. After hearing about what a terrible person I am at work it’s nice to have someone say, “You are a good person. And I love you.” Just getting a text or call from your friend can wipe away the pain and help you remember you are loved and special.
A good friend will help you remember your place in the world while helping you forget the world around you.
Today, I will talk to a friend.