Adventures in anxiety land

Here we go again. Another attack.

I really didn’t expect this to happen. Usually, an attack I have a slump. A down. I guess that’s what happens when your brain is telling your body your being chased by something that wants to eat you. After my attack yesterday, I was exhausted. Physically. Mentally.

Today, I was tired and irritated. I’ve had muscle spasms in my right shoulder. That’s a psychosomatic thing I’ve learned. Literally happens when I feel like I’m losing control. Yay. My brain is funny.

The day was going as expected when boom. Heart racing. Hands sweating. Rapid shallow breathing more like panting. Darting eyes. Shaking hands. Hyper vigilance.

Now I’m pushing through. Mainly because I can’t go home. Also, it’s frowned upon to hide under your desk.

So here I am, attempting to be normal. Attempting to not show the shaking voice or watery eyes.

I wish I could make this better for myself. I’m always that person for others. I’m the one letting them know it’s going to be ok and that it’s ok not to be ok. I just wish I could convince myself of the same thing.

Here’s hoping for an easier time.