It takes some time.

Today is a weird day in train wreck history.
I got my first corgi 11 years ago. I loved her. She was broken. Ein had been used as a breeder dog in puppy mill. She had health problems. And my ex “left the gate open” and she ran off.
9 years ago, I was in Philly for my baby cousin’s wedding and Bunny’s birthday. This was about a month after she told me what he was doing to her. While we were there, he didn’t call Bunny on her birthday. He said he was sitting on the couch contemplating suicide instead.
8 years ago he reproposed to me knowing he was losing me. He was losing his control over me. I saw how I could be loved. I felt what a real loving relationship should be like. And like a dog that hadn’t been beaten down enough, I said yes.
7 years ago I was pregnant with a T Rex.
Today I am sitting on my couch. Left leg crushed to sleep by a scared corgi. I’m sitting dry and comfortable in a beautiful house. I have a new to me car in my driveway. Bunny is going to 17 in 2 weeks. And I have the most amazing, supportive, loving husband anyone could ever ask for.
And I did. I asked the universe for him. And I’m so glad I did. I’m a best selling author. I have a successful blog and YouTube channel. I have the best job.
It gets better. You have to believe it does. Even when things are bad (and I know bad). The world is crazy and scary and weird. Things are changing faster than we can keep up. Sometimes things take 11, 9, 8, 7, or even just a year to change and get better.
It’s ok to not be ok. But it will be soon. And so will you.
I love you. I’m proud of you. And you are worth it.