The Glorious Train Wreck Mom

This is a safe space for all train wrecks. Except here, we don't give you a puppy and a latte. We give you sarcasm and humor.

I love calendars and planners. Anything that gives me the illusion I’ve got my shit together, that’s my jam. The fact that neither duct tape or crazy glue could hold my shit together is a whole different topic.

The kids have been out since spring break in March so I haven’t had to put anything like track, choir, parent teacher conferences, or bake sales in. Right now, it’s a social media and blog ideas.

Color coded and everything.

When it comes to daily routine, I don’t actually have that written down. I wake up, walk the dog, drink coffee, walk when my sciatica doesn’t make me cry, get dressed, go to work, come home, eat dinner, walk again, go to bed.

It’s Friday so I know we’re going to go somewhere for dinner. Saturdays are family fun days. Sundays are shopping and gardening.

I’m a pretty basic bitch.

But it dawned on me that other train wrecks may actually do things with other adults during the week. I don’t know who those people are. I’m in bed by nine. But if you’re one of them, I’ve got something for you.

It’s a free printable thingy. Fancy fancy I know.

Purple makes it pretty.

So there’s a lot going on with this. Let me break it down for you.

Meals: you gotta eat. Even if you’re intermittent fasting, eventually you will need to eat. Write it down. If for no other reason than to have a record in case you develop and allergy or are poisoned.

Priorities: Aka Shit that needs to get done today

Water: whether you’re an 8 8 ounce day, a gallon a day, or half your weight in ounces, drink the clear splashy stuff. Put some fruit it in for flavor but drink.

Clean the house: if you need help with daily chores, I fully recommend The Flylady. I love her.

Words to live by: This is where you put those motivational and inspirational quotes. And yes, Fuck It counts.

Appointments: Don’t be that bitch. The one who is always late or misses a meeting entirely. The biggest lie you tell yourself is that you don’t need to write it down. The hell you don’t. I have three kids and a dog. I need to know who to take where for a rabies shot.

To do: Having tacos tonight? Take out the meat. Sally starts band camp? Get her uniform to be dry cleaned. Mother in law visiting for a month? Sell your house and move to a different state.

Things to Buy: I love the little love texts I get from my kids throughout the day. Hayhay drank all the milk. T rex is starving because there are no dino nuggets. You never buy anything good to eat.

Notes: I will not sell my children on etsy. Orange is not the new black and makes me look sick. Or whatever. It’s your planner.

Well, I hope this helps you get your shit together. And let me know what you think of it. Maybe I’ll do more of this kind of thing.

Let me put that in for July.

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