Toxic positivity has me sideways.
What’s that? You don’t know what toxic positivity is? Let me help you out.
Toxic positivity is the concept – to me at least- that everything has to be sunshine, kittens, glitter, unicorns, and rainbows. Every second of anger, sadness, or any emotion other than absolute joy and bliss will ruin your vibration and suck you down into a void of despair. At that point, you’re the only one to blame for any misfortune that falls upon you.
And when you ask hard questions there are no real answers. Did I ask to have my house burn down? Did I ask for that car wreck? Did I ask to get fired?
The answer is yes. Wait, what? Yeah. They tell you at some point in your life you had those things in your vibration and thus attracted it to you.
Are you fucking kidding me? Could you imagine the balls on someone to tell a mother who lost their kid to leukemia that the child or the parent had that in their frequency and thus the universe delivered? How do you walk with balls that big? Is a Cardassian your tailor?
And this is where I call myself out on hypocrisy. I am a huge fan of the law of attraction. I have an Abraham hicks Playlist. I own the Secret book series. However, much like me with everything, I’m going to find something to bitch about.
I’m all about gratitude. I am a huge fan of saying thank you and letting people know I appreciate them and what they do for me.
I love starting my day of on a positive note. Programming my brain for a good day helps me have a good day.
But I’m also a human being with real human emotions. And I think it’s a shit philosophy to tell people that the five minutes they spent being upset about a traffic jam is the reason their bank account got hacked and emptied.
Now, I will say it can brighten my mood to see something positive on my feed. Someone bragging about their kid or a cute puppy picture. Sometimes that’s all it takes to get me to take a breath and get back to right.
The one quote that has resonated with me has been: it’s ok to not be ok. Train wrecks, it is. It absolutely is. Wildfires, idols dying, pandemic, politics, racism, history, the remake of the Princess Bride. The world is upside down. Mix all that with mental health issues and many of us are having a hard time.
Hence, self care. This is when you have to recognize burn out. Positive quotes may help but I suggest tuning out. Turn off the TV. Put your phone on the charger. Leave your laptop on your desk. Make brownies. Play tic tac toe. Take a walk. Bake bread – that’s a thing now. Who knew?
The thing is: you have to do what’s best for you. You might feel better cleaning your kitchen (you can come clean mine if it helps) . An hour at the shooting range or gym might help you. You do you, baby. I make virtual voodoo dolls and well, you get the point. Or you will. Eventually.
So, until we get back to our new version of normal I will tell you that it’s ok to not be ok. And I’m still proud of you. You’re worth it. And I love you.