The Eyes Have It

You know that saying. The one that says to take care of yourself or you’ll be forced to. Yeah. That ain’t no joke.

Back in November my vision was getting blurry. Ok. Blurrier. I had an eye appointment so no worries. I say no worries for someone who is filled with worry. Any who. The doctor said I had dry eyes and just needed new glasses just for work and reading. Cool. Yay.

November past. No problem. Then December. I felt like I had something crawling in my eye. I know, right. Worst feeling ever. Especially when you’re deadly afraid of eyes and everything to do with them.

We thought maybe it was dust from Christmas decorations and Thanksgiving cleaning before the family came over. I mean, honestly. I cleaned the baseboards. The vents. The ceiling fans. There was no way I was going to let my in laws know im a train wreck housekeeper.

After about 2 weeks, I was going crazy. Ok. Crazier. I was convinced there was something in my eye.

Had i tried drops? Hell, no. Me? Drops? Willingly? Absolutely not. But by the time I had reached my limit I was ready to try anything. And I did.

Let me introduce my hero, my husband. He went to Walmart and bought the entire eye care aisle. Drops. Patches. Gels. Eye wash kits. The whole thing. And we did it all. And I hated every second of it. I actually cracked a tooth from clenching my jaw so tight. I passed out from not breathing. And I passed out from hyperventilating. Phobias are fun.

After the eye wash, it got better. For a few days. Then it got worse. So much worse. I couldn’t open my eye. I couldn’t be near light. I couldn’t read, or work, or see.

I’m a mom. I’m a writer. I have a day job. Like holy cow. I was blind. And panicking. OK. Panicking more.

And this is when the grown up voice kicked in. I had to leave work, go to the doctor, and get this checked out. So, I did.

What was it? I have an ulcerated cornea. Aka a hole in my eye. And if that ain’t the worst thing I’ve ever said. I had 28% vision in my eye. A large, deep hole in my cornea. And eyes as dry as the Sahara. Fantastic.

How do we fix it? Drops. Every 2 hours for 2 days. Ointment every night.

How am I now? Well, I’m writing this so thats a thing. I still have some vision loss but the swelling is down. The hole is not at large. And my sensitivity to light is gone. Im still dry but thanks to hundreds of eye drop sessions I’m lubricating my eyes.

What did I learn? If I go blind, I still have to walk the dog and do laundry. Being off my phone isn’t such a bad deal. Podcasts and audiobooks are the best things ever. And I need to realize the world won’t collapse if I take some time to correct something when it starts.

So, here’s my advice. Whether it’s your eyes, ears, nose, throat, or anything else, get it checked. It could be nothing and just require eye drops. But it’s better than waiting and needing a cornea transplant.

Take care of yourselves, train wrecks.