Train wrecks, I need to vent.
Why oh why did I ever think my family would actually do something for me for my birthday? Every birthday, mother’s day, Christmas, anniversary I wind up buying my own gift.
I thought dropping the hint that Grady Hendrix was on tour would have prompted someone to look up the details. Nope. That was me. Calling. Reserving. The whole deal.
I have Amazon wish lists that I’ve shared with my family. And today I’m told, “Get what you want.” What I want? What I want is a fraction of the thought I put into everyone else’s gifts. What I want is a surprise. What I want is to feel like someone thought about me. That’s what I want.
I know they love me. But sometimes it’s nice to open a package I didn’t order. To think someone thought enough of me to spend 5 minutes looking for a gift.
And maybe I’m selfish. Maybe I’m being a whiny brat. But damn. I have literally cried from stress hoping the gift I got someone was good enough.
Now, this doesn’t include my mama. Mama hooked me up with a case if pumpkin spice coffee and honey sticks. Like, I haven’t seen my mom in four years but she knows. Ya know? Like, I’m not a complicated creature. I’m actually fairly entertained.
And maybe I’m just a little disappointed in myself for having my hopes and expectations too high. I just wish I mattered enough to the people I love.
And that’s all I’ve got.
The Glorious Train Wreck Mom 
I don’t think it’s selfish at all to want someone to put some thought into a gift they give you. It shows that they care about you and think about you as much as you do them. One of the hardest things that I’ve had to accept is you can’t expect you from everyone else
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Thank you. I hope you’re doing well
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