Christmas Gifts for Mom – A Rant

Welcome aboard, train wreck.

I made the regretful choice to look up the trending gifts for Mom. I have a question for the people writing  these lists and articles. Do you have mothers? Are you moms? Do you know any mothers? Have you actively spoken to a human who has birthed a child? Because your writing comes off like someone who has observed mothers in their natural habitats but you never actually interacted with them.

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Seriously. These lists made me upset for every mother. Maybe train wreck moms are a different breed. Maybe these were written for June Cleaver and Donna Reed.

I present exhibit A. They’re salad forks. For tossing and serving salad. But why tho?

Who would want these? And even better, who is giving these as a gift? Stop that.

Exhibit B.

A  pair of scissors. For cutting pizza. What in the actual? Like it would be no time before my kids were using those for their hair and school projects. And the pizza that gets eaten in this house is already cut. Like, I’m telling you now. If I ever got these as a gift, I’m winding up the topic of a true crime podcast. Silent Night, Deadly Night. Mommy Claus just wanted the cool socks and a bottle of wine.

Listen. Here’s the thing. Moms are not complicated creatures. Train wreck moms even less complicated. We are very easily entertained. Most of what we want isn’t even store bought or material. But we want that, too.

If you need a blender, buy the damn blender but don’t wrap it up and slap Mom on the tag. I love my dad but I saw him do this with a vacuum once. Once.

If you have not seen this movie, you are missing out. If you know it, throw your favorite quote in the comments.

Now, I get there may be some domestic divas reading this. My question is: How did you get here? Are you lost?

I think the sticking point for me is respect. This all really comes down to respect and paying attention. Moms don’t really have to ask for lists. They watch. They listen. They take notes because, let’s face it our memories are shot. But the see what you’re interested in. And then the just do the damn thing.

This is pretty much the principle of mom doing the dishes and taking the trash out. She noticed. She took action. It’s not hard.

This is the portion of the program where you have some homework for your mom. Talk to her. Ask her questions. Show her those damn salad forks. If you’re an adult child and you no longer live close to your mom, it’s totally acceptable to ask what she needs or wants. I was blessed with a mother who has no problem telling you what she wants. Thankfully, I got it right this year.

Now, here’s the real tea. Yes, Mom does want something under the tree. She wants to unwrap more than the fruitcake her aunt sent her to watch till next year. (The Fruitcake story is coming soon.) And while she loves seeing her family open the gifts she bought for them, she also gets a little sad and mad. See, in that moment, Santa and Dad are getting credit for her hard work. Her care. Her attention. And as they go about flinging ribbons and bows and wrapping paper, she sits on the couch and watches. Empty handed. Knowing she probably won’t get a thank you. Just once, Mom would like someone to put just a fraction of the effort into her gifts as she puts into theirs. And although she sits, silently sipping her coffee, a wan smile on her face, inside she’s promising herself that she won’t do this again next year.

But she does. Because she’s Mom. And that’s what moms do.

You know what goes a long way. A coupon for one hour a week when no one will bother her. She can get out of the house. Take a bath. Take a nap. Whatever. Have the kids write letters to Mom telling her how much they love her. Partners, tell her how very aware you are that the family and house would fall apart without her. (There’s a blog in the works on this.)

Moms are not hard to Christmas for. Ask her what her favorite color is? Take her to her favorite restaurant. Make her favorite dessert – and clean up after it. Socks. Blankets. Books. Wait, I derailed there.

Moms who are reading this, please input here. Let us know what your ultimate holiday gift would be. And if those salad forks are it, then I don’t even know how you got here.

This content contains affiliate links. When you buy through these links, I may earn an affiliate commission. Again, if you like what I post, please like, comment, share, and subscribe. Please consider donating to help keep this going. $1 and I’ll ask you what your favorite book is so we can talk about it. $5 and I’ll write a review of a book you suggest. $10 and I’ll write a blog suggested by you. That’s all I’ve got for today, train wrecks. All aboard.

Still need an idea? Look at this. It amazing. This isn’t a snuggie. This a super snuggie. A snuggie your mom is worth. This would consider itself lucky to be used by your mom. Holy Hellfire, it has pockets.

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